The Legend of: Gary Nagle

ArcticMonkeys33: almost as cool as gary
OdtherChris: almost
OdtherChris: so close
ArcticMonkeys33: i know
ArcticMonkeys33: he is what every perfectionist aims for, he makes it look so easy to be that awesome
OdtherChris: i know thats freaking insane i dont know how he does it
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah he truly is the 8th world wonder
OdtherChris: brilliant
ArcticMonkeys33: when i grow up i want to be like gary, doesn't every little boy say that.
OdtherChris: yeah i said that and i didnt even know who gary was
ArcticMonkeys33: yep, then you met him and your dreams all became clear.
OdtherChris: yeah it was like OMGsh
ArcticMonkeys33: Yeah when i first saw him and saw how perfect he was, i walked up to him and i said, "are you gary?" and he replied, "you got any mountain dew?"
OdtherChris: so badass
ArcticMonkeys33: i know!
OdtherChris: yeah and did he have his leg kick up agaisnt the wall troo
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah! I was like "he really is the second-coming of Fonzie, except without the STDs"
OdtherChris: hey Garys' cool he gets the ladies i wouldnt be so sure that he doesnt have a few STDs
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah, but he is smart. He only dates virgins, after one date he gets rid of that trailer trash for another virgin. He's been through 200 chicks
OdtherChris: not only is he a badass but hes a smart bastard
ArcticMonkeys33: Thats gary for you, he could get any girl he wants
OdtherChris: even one thats actually a male prostitute
ArcticMonkeys33: he has got it all, good looks, ladies, money, brains, diabetes
OdtherChris: and a brand new pair of swimming trunks
OdtherChris: hes got it all

Google’s Office Suite Complete: Google “PowerPoint” Confirmed

There’s no need for further speculation: Google CEO Today at the Web 2.0 Expo Google CEO Eric Schmidt confirmed that Google will soon launch a PowerPoint clone, completing their basic office suite (they already have Word and Excel covered).



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Terrible Songs Volume 1:

Cupids Chokehold by Gym Class heroes
First they still basically the whole song from the Super Tramp classic "Breakfast In America"; and the rapping is horrendous... Also it is from their first album, and when you can't even write original music for your first album it is just pathetic....

Now Compare this shittiness:

To this Classic:

It's a pathetic rip-off.

Indiana Time Zone

ArcticMonkeys33: Is Indiana a different time zone?
christhewalrus01: um
christhewalrus01: i dont know
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
ArcticMonkeys33: GOOGLE IT!
christhewalrus01: no
ArcticMonkeys33: i did
christhewalrus01: thats in the form of a question
christhewalrus01: that would be a jeeves equation there
ArcticMonkeys33: oh my god
ArcticMonkeys33: 74 coutnies in Indiana are in the Eastern Time Zone; 18 are in the Central Time Zone; and shes gone so we can't ask her which part she is in!
christhewalrus01: damnit!
ArcticMonkeys33: its the only state like that too
ArcticMonkeys33: out of all the damn states....Indiana!
christhewalrus01: damn
ArcticMonkeys33: theres 49 other ones! and Austrailia too
christhewalrus01: well which county is IU in
christhewalrus01: or does it like
ArcticMonkeys33: lets find out
christhewalrus01: share two counties
ArcticMonkeys33: to ask.com!
ArcticMonkeys33: its in the city of Bloomington
ArcticMonkeys33: now to find out where the hell that is
christhewalrus01: hahaha
ArcticMonkeys33: to wikipedia!
christhewalrus01: ahhh
ArcticMonkeys33: hahaha
christhewalrus01: wikipedia is great
ArcticMonkeys33: i keep on getting "bloomington and monroe county"
christhewalrus01: they have a great article on marijuana
ArcticMonkeys33: it is
ArcticMonkeys33: haha
ArcticMonkeys33: I found it on wiki
ArcticMonkeys33: FUN FACT!
ArcticMonkeys33: Bloomington is the 7th largest city in Indiana.
christhewalrus01: hahaha
ArcticMonkeys33: Monroe County
ArcticMonkeys33: now to find it out
ArcticMonkeys33: Eastern
ArcticMonkeys33: so we have the same time zone
ArcticMonkeys33: wow all that work for "same time zone"
christhewalrus01: yeah
christhewalrus01: thats...
christhewalrus01: really weird.

Valentine Day

christhewalrus01: too damn much cuddling
ArcticMonkeys33: damn you
ArcticMonkeys33: this is my 14/14 Valentine Day alone
ArcticMonkeys33: you've prob. had a date since you were 3 on Valentines Day
christhewalrus01: :-)
christhewalrus01: well the honey rode the bus home
christhewalrus01: and no parents were here when i got home...
ArcticMonkeys33: woah!
christhewalrus01: but all she wanted to do was cuddle
christhewalrus01: i was like "this is our chance! ahh"
ArcticMonkeys33: damn!
christhewalrus01: and then she fell asleep
christhewalrus01: so
ArcticMonkeys33: I would die for a cuddle
ArcticMonkeys33: well not really
christhewalrus01: my arm went numb
ArcticMonkeys33: I would kill a man for a cuddle; thats more like it
christhewalrus01: are you implying that you would like to cuddle with a man?
ArcticMonkeys33: NO!
ArcticMonkeys33: A woman; not you
ArcticMonkeys33: and not a fugly woman
christhewalrus01: hahaha
ArcticMonkeys33: a woman of my choosing...
christhewalrus01: fat chicks?
ArcticMonkeys33: they gotta pay
ArcticMonkeys33: but no
christhewalrus01: ahahaha
christhewalrus01: TT...you're choices are either fat..or unibrows and facial hair

ArcticMonkeys33: i'm keeping my streak of being single on valentines day alive! If i get a girlfriend by next year ill dump her before V-day so i can keep the streak going
BxFRED 10: =l
BxFRED 10: hahah
BxFRED 10: thats mean
ArcticMonkeys33: no; its for the record!
ArcticMonkeys33: THE RECORD!
ArcticMonkeys33: see the smart guys break up with girls around these days: Valentines Day, Christmas, and their Birthday because less gifts mean more $ for the guy
BxFRED 10: omg. thats not right
BxFRED 10: at all
ArcticMonkeys33: or is it so right its wrong?
ArcticMonkeys33: your right its just wrong
BxFRED 10: haha
BxFRED 10: it is
BxFRED 10: and really mean
ArcticMonkeys33: yes; I would never do that

ArcticMonkeys33: BOO!
emm x3 xo: AHHHH!!!!
ArcticMonkeys33: Oh and to a lesser extent happy valentines day even though I don't care how your day went
ArcticMonkeys33: i'm sure it went great without a hitch
emm x3 xo: hahah happy valentines day to you too
ArcticMonkeys33: yes; yet it wasn't so happy
emm x3 xo: awwwe why
ArcticMonkeys33: well actually it was great since my streak is still going strong! 14/14 Valentines Day alone which goes with my record of 15/15 years alone unless I get a date in 3 days
emm x3 xo: awwe poor tt
ArcticMonkeys33: no i'm not poor; I made 25 bucks today
ArcticMonkeys33: I only had to waste about 2 hours of my life shoveling! well more like 3 since I had to shovel my house about 4 times
emm x3 xo: awwe
ArcticMonkeys33: no that is a "Way to go TT; now you have money for the date you won't get!"; hah its fun making fun of myself; its so easy!
emm x3 xo: hahah tt.. no need to make fun of yourself :-)
ArcticMonkeys33: Oh yes there is a need; Since i've been out of things to talk about to you since 7th grade and this is the only way we can talk!
emm x3 xo: haha okayy
ArcticMonkeys33: like Oh My GAWD
emm x3 xo: OmGsH. Tt Is FrEaKiN aWeSoMe!
ArcticMonkeys33: don't lie
emm x3 xo: cHyEh. No LiE!
ArcticMonkeys33: Well i'll lie; Katie is the coolest and prettiest girl in the world
ArcticMonkeys33: now you can take out the lie part; and you can tell people I called you the coolest and prettiest girl in the world!
emm x3 xo: hahah

Our School Sucks

9:00- I arrive at the busstop
9:05- I start to get arritated that the bus hasn't arrived
9:10- I start to get cold; People compaining
9:15- 5 people leave.
9:20- I leave
9:37- The bus finally arrives 37 minutes late; and my whole busstop misses it.
Talk about a quality job our school district does. Seriously, I waited in freezing weather for 20 minutes. Great Job!

Script Part 1

Stud Muffin: The True Life Story of Chris Langguth(and how he gets laid)

(View pans to hospital bed)
Chris' Mom: *grunting*
Various Medical Personnel: Push, push, push!
Chris' Mom: AHH!
Doctor: It's a boy but it seems something is wrong; It seems his penis is bigger than mine.
Chris' Mom: But your chinese silly; even my penis is bigger than yours and I'm a woman!
Doctor: I forgot, what are you going to name him?
Chris' Mom: Christopher Stud Muffin Langguth
Baby Chris: That's Me!
(Show Opening Screen)
Chris Langguth as Christopher Stud Muffin Langguth
Tyler Treese as The loyal sidekick who has never had a girlfriend
Some chick as Hannah Wineland
Adam Smith as The dude who uses funny one-liners
(Cut to C.W. Longer Elementary School)
Chris Narrating: It was my first day in C.W. Longer Elementary and I knew it meant one thing: New Ladies to wow. I met my two fellow struggling pimps Tyler Treese and Adam Smith. Now Adam had the hots for a girl named Sarah and asked her out everyday during recess.
(Shows Adam at the swingsets)
Adam: Hey; I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bedrock!
Sarah: No.
(Cuts to Adam talking to Chris and TT)
Adam: I really thought I had a chance this time; That line was genius.
Chris: Well you have to be smooth like I am; Watch this.
(Chris walks over to a table full of women he sets his eyes on a girl named Hannah Wineland)
Chris: Hey foxy momma, how about you and me go back to my place; I have my own teeter totter and I could teeter your totter if you know what I mean.
Hannah: Yes; umm I'll see you around at recess; bye, wait what is your name?
Chris: You can call me Sex Master or Chris.

Stud Muffin: The Movie: The True Life Story of Chris Langguth

ArcticMonkeys33: Stud Muffin: The Movie; Dude we have to make your life story a movie!
christhewalrus01: ahahah
christhewalrus01: nice comment
ArcticMonkeys33: who could we cast as you? I mean no actor has your good looks so its a tough one...
christhewalrus01: chris langguth as
christhewalrus01: himself.
ArcticMonkeys33: YES! perfect
ArcticMonkeys33: now who was the girl who dumped you at are school? Was it Hannah something?
ArcticMonkeys33: that was funny
christhewalrus01: shut up.
christhewalrus01: it was elise
christhewalrus01: and that was one time
ArcticMonkeys33: It was like the end of the world
christhewalrus01: after 2 and a half months
christhewalrus01: and i recovered after a week
christhewalrus01: so
ArcticMonkeys33: Chris: "I'm so alone, I can't believe that slut dumped me for mike and then dumped him for pat WTF"
christhewalrus01: ooooh
christhewalrus01: you mean that
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah
christhewalrus01: ahahahahaha
ArcticMonkeys33: that was great
christhewalrus01: hannah wineland
christhewalrus01: that was terrible
ArcticMonkeys33: there we go
christhewalrus01: i didn't get anything from her
ArcticMonkeys33: hannah winland
christhewalrus01: and then she made out with pat a week later
ArcticMonkeys33: thats great
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: all in 4th grade
christhewalrus01: it was terrible
christhewalrus01: and then she moved
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah
christhewalrus01: and pat was like "ahahah! sucker!"
ArcticMonkeys33: i should search myspace for her hahhh
ArcticMonkeys33: that would be funny if she saw you now and she had the hots for you
christhewalrus01: she emailed me or something like a few months ago
christhewalrus01: it was weird
ArcticMonkeys33: really?
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
ArcticMonkeys33: who would we cast as her?
ArcticMonkeys33: xD
christhewalrus01: some really ugly chick
christhewalrus01: so as to say like
christhewalrus01: hey
christhewalrus01: it didn't matter really
christhewalrus01: she was ugly
christhewalrus01: and it was 4th grade
christhewalrus01: the stud muffin was just gettin it on
ArcticMonkeys33: lol
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: and after a week with uhhh jessica what's her name
christhewalrus01: he recovered
christhewalrus01: i actually dont know who i went out with after that
christhewalrus01: but i think i dated jessica once
ArcticMonkeys33: jessica burket?
christhewalrus01: the little one?
christhewalrus01: yeah
ArcticMonkeys33: yeah
ArcticMonkeys33: dude shes been going out with Alex Prosser since sixth grades
christhewalrus01: ahahaha
ArcticMonkeys33: its amazing
ArcticMonkeys33: they are the only people i really can't see breaking up in a week
christhewalrus01: yeah
ArcticMonkeys33: they're like the perfect match its nuts
christhewalrus01: i saw them together last time i was up there
christhewalrus01: and then we tried to steal panties from her room
christhewalrus01: but it wasn't worth it
ArcticMonkeys33: hah!
christhewalrus01: because they were really small
ArcticMonkeys33: kevin willis got caught looking at her moms panties
christhewalrus01: hahahahahahahahahahaha
christhewalrus01: its like in that snickers commercial
ArcticMonkeys33: lol
ArcticMonkeys33: i think i found hannahs myspace
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: i dont think i've seen her mom
christhewalrus01: is she hot?
ArcticMonkeys33: who jess' mom or hannah hahahhaha
christhewalrus01: jessicas mom
ArcticMonkeys33: hah no
christhewalrus01: thats just gross then
christhewalrus01: why her moms
christhewalrus01: and not hers
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
ArcticMonkeys33: http://profile.myspace.com/91548181 lol
christhewalrus01: ahahaha
christhewalrus01: i'll send her a friend request
ArcticMonkeys33: thats her isnt it?
ArcticMonkeys33: i will too if you are
ArcticMonkeys33: u doing it?
christhewalrus01: yeah
ArcticMonkeys33: thats hilarious
christhewalrus01: it kind of looks like her
ArcticMonkeys33: you'll have to private message her and say "my heart is still broken from 4th grade"
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: ahahaha
christhewalrus01: i should
christhewalrus01: and at the end of the movie
christhewalrus01: we'll have
christhewalrus01: "reconnection"
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: and happily never after
ArcticMonkeys33: w00t
christhewalrus01: because she'll be like
christhewalrus01: who the fuck are you
christhewalrus01: i live in australia
christhewalrus01: ...
christhewalrus01: mate.
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
ArcticMonkeys33: xD
ArcticMonkeys33: i wonder if she moved to austrailia?
ArcticMonkeys33: hah that would be weird
christhewalrus01: ahaha
christhewalrus01: that would bwe
ArcticMonkeys33: so after you move to VA; you hook up with 1,500 girls and then you find true love; and then at the end of the movie you get laid
ArcticMonkeys33: perfect ending/
ArcticMonkeys33: ?
christhewalrus01: except we leave them to wonder
ArcticMonkeys33: k
christhewalrus01: because its pg 13
ArcticMonkeys33: oh
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: and we leave out the sex scene
christhewalrus01: maybe
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
christhewalrus01: maybe i'll be like
ArcticMonkeys33: DVD will have it
christhewalrus01: "maybe we should turn off the lights..."
ArcticMonkeys33: yes!
christhewalrus01: or like
christhewalrus01: "do i have to pay for this?"
ArcticMonkeys33: hah
ArcticMonkeys33: amazing
christhewalrus01: hahaha
christhewalrus01: "keep it down, my mother is sleeping"
ArcticMonkeys33: then i come out of nowhere and say "Im still a virgin" and then everyone laughs at me
ArcticMonkeys33: then you look to the screen and say "that's TT"
christhewalrus01: yeah
christhewalrus01: and we'll have cool sepia tone intermission slides
ArcticMonkeys33: yep
ArcticMonkeys33: we need to make a script; with shit like Epic Movie being made this will be a box office smash!

Short Story

Chocolate Killed My Best Friend (A Short Story)

It was September 15th, 2248. Three years after my freak pogostick accident(which is a story for another time) and my friend GlenCoco and I decided to use the time machine we had purchased from eBay.As we were leaving my white toy poodle, Killer, jumped in and knockedthe dial. We were then transported to the distant past.

Once we arrived we stepped outside, and it was a beautiful sight. Thesky was crystal clear since it had not been polluted by humans forthousands of years. The landscape was a beautiful desert plain, andwhile Killer was sniffing around, I noticed a cave.

I asked Glen "Do you want to go into the cave?". He replied, "What ev'".

We slowly approached the huge cave, once we stepped in I was startledto see two cave people standing there. There was a male and a female.The male was about 3 foot tall, and had a 2 foot long beard, he wouldcontinually beat his head with his wooden club. The female was clothedin the latest tiger skin wear.We could not communicate but we soonfound a common interest, Disco. One thing most people do not know isthat Disco is an ancient art form traced back to recivilization.Luckily, I had brought a battery operated Disco Ball and batteries. Wetaught them many new dance moves such as the 'hustle' and the'robot'.Killer was particularly good at the 'robot'.

Glen eventually gotten tired from "shaking his groove thang", anddecided to eat one of his chocolate bars he brought along. This was not smartsince everyone knows lions are attracted to chocolate. A lion almostinstantaneously appeared. When he roared it sounded like a cow mooing.Glen laughed, and then the lion started chasing us.We ran out of the cave and darted back to the time machine. The lion kept gaining on us so I grabbed one of Glen's chocolate bars and threwit in the opposite direction. Glen yelled "No!", and leapt for the chocolate bar. I yelled out to him"Don't do it", but it was too late.

My best friend was dead. He was then immediately mauled and killed bythe lion. Killer and I then went to the time machine to get away fromthe lion. After we transported back to 2248, we had a funeral for Glen.His gravestone read, "He died for the thing he loved most, Chocolate".

Pimp Chronicles

Part 1: PIMPZ
christhewalrus01: sup holmes
ArcticMonkeys33: not much flirting with the ladies, ya know haha; you?
christhewalrus01: oh
christhewalrus01: just setting up a date
christhewalrus01: you know
ArcticMonkeys33: haha sweet, and I dont know
ArcticMonkeys33: haha
christhewalrus01: seriously...you always catch me when i'm setting something up with the ladies
ArcticMonkeys33: haha, I know
ArcticMonkeys33: your just so much of a pimp that your always setting stuff up
Part II: Realization
ArcticMonkeys33: haha your such a pimp
christhewalrus01: uhm...well...i mean, pimp means multiple girls
christhewalrus01: i only have 1
ArcticMonkeys33: woah, only one?? what happened to you?
christhewalrus01: soooo
christhewalrus01: i really like this girl
christhewalrus01: she's great

And so a Pimp turns good, TT on the otherhand is still BIG PIMPIN' haha

Nerd Battles; LOTR V. Star Wars

jmurt6: oh get real
jmurt6: the return of the king is the greatest
ArcticMonkeys33: no Return of the Jedi; kicks its ass!
jmurt6: hmm sorry i disagree fully
jmurt6: and the fact that orlando bloom is in lotr helps out with the whole liking of the movie situation... it only adds to its greatness haha
ArcticMonkeys33: but please admit that Sam and Frodo are totally gay for each other
ArcticMonkeys33: its so obvious
jmurt6: oh come on they are best friends
ArcticMonkeys33: and Dildo Baggins
jmurt6: and sam gets married at the end!
ArcticMonkeys33: GAY!
jmurt6: to a girl!
jmurt6: be nice tt.
ArcticMonkeys33: haha its actually Frodo in drag

Chris Emo Picture

Emo Chris!

Rose

My friends cousin took this picture; I think its beautiful.